Abandonment is one of the most profound triggers for anxiety, and for those of us who have experienced it, the effects can echo throughout our lives in ways we might not even recognize. I personally know this struggle all too well.

As a child, I was abandoned by my father. Although I don’t have vivid memories of him, the emotional residue of that abandonment shaped my behaviors and patterns for years, hiding the true feelings of abandonment deep within my psyche. These patterns, buried in the depths of my subconscious, followed me throughout childhood and into adulthood, leaving me unaware of how they influenced my thoughts, actions, and decisions.

It took me nearly 30 years to uncover this root cause and realize that I was still carrying the weight of my childhood trauma. I’m now on a deep healing journey with my inner child, trying to unearth and release the old wounds that no longer serve me.

One of the biggest breakthroughs I’ve had along this path was in my relationship with money. For years, I fed a gambling addiction that stemmed from a feeling of unworthiness, particularly when it came to finances. I never felt I deserved to have money, so as quickly as it came to me, it would disappear. I spent or invested in everything but myself. It wasn’t until this year, when I struggled to set a price for my coaching services, that I connected the dots—this issue was directly tied to my trauma around abandonment.

If you’ve experienced abandonment in any form, I want to share this message with you:

There’s nothing you need to prove about yourself. You are already lovable, unique, and deserving of a fulfilling life. You are powerful, and most importantly, you are never alone.

If any of this resonates with you, take comfort in knowing that healing is possible. Understanding how abandonment trauma affects your anxiety is the first step toward transformation.

7 Signs Your Anxiety is Rooted in Abandonment

If you’re struggling with anxiety, it’s possible that abandonment issues are contributing to your stress response. Here are seven signs that your anxiety may be connected to feelings of abandonment:

1. You Don’t Put Yourself First

You constantly prioritize others over yourself, and find it hard to carve out time for your own needs. You often feel guilty when you take time for self-care or indulge in things that nourish you.

2. You Seek Validation

You constantly seek approval from others before making decisions or sharing your creations. Whether it’s from family, friends, or your partner, you often feel uncertain about your worth and need others to reassure you before moving forward.

3. You Must Always Explain Yourself

When people disagree with you or don’t understand you, you feel the urge to explain yourself repeatedly. You may feel a compulsion to justify your actions and choices, believing that others won’t accept you unless you do.

4. You Repeatedly Apologize

You apologize often, even when you haven’t done anything wrong. Whether you’re taking up someone’s time or space, or you feel like a burden, you find yourself saying “sorry” more than necessary.

5. You Struggle with Expression

Whether it’s on social media or in your personal relationships, you find it difficult to express your true feelings. You fear being misunderstood or rejected, so you keep your emotions to yourself, even when you know sharing could bring healing.

6. You Aren’t Open to Receiving

You have a hard time accepting help or care from others, and even when it’s offered, you resist it. This is often a sign that you feel unworthy of receiving love, compassion, or support.

7. You Feel Like It’s Never Enough

No matter what you accomplish, it feels like it’s never enough. You chase after external achievements and possessions, but deep down, you know that nothing outside of yourself will ever make you feel truly whole. You are searching for fulfillment in all the wrong places.

Moving Toward Healing

Recognizing these signs is a crucial step in healing the abandonment wounds that may be driving your anxiety. You don’t have to continue living in the patterns that have held you captive for so long. Healing requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and, most importantly, giving yourself permission to embrace your worthiness.

Remember: You are worthy of love, peace, and joy. You deserve to feel whole, and you can create the life you desire from a place of empowerment.

Healing from abandonment is a process. It takes time, but it is completely possible. Begin by gently acknowledging the ways your past experiences have shaped your present, and allow yourself to release old patterns that no longer serve you. You are not alone, and you are not broken. You are a whole person, worthy of a life filled with love, joy, and abundance.

Your healing journey starts now. Take it one step at a time, and trust that you are always supported along the way.